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Thursday, May 20, 2010

Online Dating and what to expect!

It's funny how I landed in the online dating world. I was being interviewed awhile ago by the creator of eharmony.com for a position in web 3.0 company and I was checking him out just to see what his background is and stumbled upon eharmony.com. After that excruciating zillion questions about me and my partner preferences, I was exhausted but at the same time I wanted some ROI (Return on Investment) for the time I wasted and was never getting back. So, I started browsing and noticed how many people are out there trying to find that someone special. So, I joined the league and ever since I've been on this quest to find that super smart/caring/loving/intelligent/kind/cute/smoking-hot girl.

Here's alittle theory I have on Online Dating. It helps you to understand what to expect there.

Disclaimer : I am not a veteran in the online dating field but I have been watching and closely observing this space for a while hoping to build a desi dating site someday. My intentions are purely business related and nothing else. Also this might be a good point to mention that I did not stalk anyone to come up with this theory.

I noticed that online dating sites are like Mangolian Grills. There are five kinds of people (broadly speaking) in there.
1. The hungry a.k.a. desperate //the label is self-explanatory
2. The smart/cheap //who want a big meal for small price (call it smart or cheap)
3. The bored //who are bored off routine sandwiches.
4. The adventurous and humanitarian. (you can totally tell - I belong here, cant you?)
5. The silent observers a.k.a stalkers and spies. //I DONT belong in this group although it looks like it - just so you know!

The hungry/desperate ones are there for a reason and they know it well. They try whatever looks good and sometimes they lie and cheat just to satisfy the hunger. Once their hunger is satisfied they might not be a good partner. Rule of Thumb - desperate people are dangerous!

The smart ones are there coz they dont wanna spend too much out there and wanna get money's worth. In this context, going out to a bar daily and trying to fish for girls is just time consuming and an expensive affair. Besides, who has time and patience right? The problem here is that they are here to fish but they dont want any fish - they have their preferences and biases. They want certain height, weight, complexion, caste, creed, religion and income. Preference is good but bias is not (well, not always). They walk in there and see a decent amount of choice but in their mind they know what they exactly want. You cannot reason with them unless you fall in that small circle they draw around themselves.


The bored ones - now there is a story here. They have tried all things possible and are just bored. They are tired and exhausted. They wanna settle down. More often than not, these people have a great story to share but they often tend not to share it. They tend to hide it for reasons very personal sometimes reasonable and rightly so and sometimes afraid of judgement. They dont have that fresh enthusiasm and outlook to life that is quintessential to keep a relationship fresh and interesting. They have this "Whatever" attitude which is quite boring at times.

The adventurous ones - also the humanitarians - They will try everything atleast once before they say no to it. They are open minded, fresh and interesting. I probably fall in this category We dont have a closed mind but we do have certain standards.

The silent observers - They are mostly observing the space looking for something. They might be here trying their luck or they might be too shy and insecure or their might be evaluating the business value of such sites or they might be spying on someone or they might just be stalking someone. You never know and You should not know! Sometimes, It's invasion of their privacy that pisses them off!

So, there you go - Online Dating, what to expect 101 for you. Hope it helps you. Guns and Roses are welcome!
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